Getting Married? Who does what?

There are a number of roles (or special jobs) that enable your friends and family to be a part of the wedding. Apart from witnesses, none of the other roles are essential. 

Your celebrant will ask you for the names of the following (if you have them) so that everyone is introduced and thanked correctly. S/he will check these on the wedding day to ensure everything runs smoothly. 

Sometimes a few people have multiple jobs. For eg, the witness is the ring bearer and usher.

Think hard and think soon to avoid rushing around at the end. Make sure you ask them, they know what the role entails and they agree. 

I’ve been to many weddings where I check everyone knows their jobs and people are surprised that they have been chosen and nervous because they don’t know what to do. Often people can’t do the roles on the day so it’s good to have some back ups in mind.

Witnesses – Non negotiable 

You need two people over 18. They can be relatives.

Your celebrant will need their full names including middle names for the paperwork to be sent to Births, Deaths and Marriages.

Wedding Party – Possible roles 

You do not need to have a wedding party, but if you do you can have as many attendants as you like. There must be more politically correct names for these roles. Here’s some examples. 

Best man/woman 

Groomsmen/women

Maid/Matron of honour

Bridesmaids

Flower girls

Please see https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-party-glossary for traditional role descriptions. 

Ring bearers

This is the person/s (or animal) that keeps the rings safe during the ceremony and hands them to the bride and groom when needed. They can be a child although I’m a bit more protective of the jewels!

Readers of verses/poems 

The celebrant or guest/s can read the verse/poem. I recommend they practice and use a microphone as people like to hear heartfelt, personal and carefully chosen verses/poems. People can share the job, for eg each person says one verse each. 

Ritual facilitator, eg Handfasting

Make sure they understand the purpose and practice the way you intended the ritual to be facilitated. Highly recommend they use a microphone and practice in front of others.

Giving away

The traditional presentation of the bride to the groom can be done by anyone including women and children. For example, the couple’s children might answer ‘We do’.

Photographer

If asking friends to do this role they need to be well briefed about when you want what particular shots. Don’t leave it to them to decide or you might be disappointed.

Ushers

Greet people and escort them to their seats.

Music coordinator

Choose someone who can follow instructions about when to play, stop and fade out music. Usually not a child and this person should not be in the wedding party because this should be set up before the bride arrives.